What is Sexual Abuse?

In honor of Sharon Todd the author   

A lot of people do not know what sexual abuse is.  RAINN (Rape, Abuse& Incest National Network) defines abuse as when a perpetrator intentionally harms a minor child physically, psychologically, sexually or by acts of neglect.  Sexual abuse comes in many forms:  child sexual abuse is sexual activity with a minor by an adult.  A minor child cannot consent to any form of sexual activity.  Sexual abuse can have lifetime effects.  The victim can have trouble relating to other people who want to help.

RAINN defines sexual abuse as:

• Obscene phone calls, text messages, or digital interaction

• Fondling

• Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself to a minor

• Masturbation in the presence of a minor or forcing the minor to masturbate

• Intercourse

• Sex of any kind with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal

• Producing, owning, or sharing pornographic images or movies of children
• Sex trafficking

• Any other sexual conduct that is harmful to a child’s mental, emotional, or physical welfare

The above items were taken from:

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network – Official Site  https://www.rainn.org

People often wonder what does a perpetrator look like.  Nine times out of ten, the victim knows the perpetrator.  The perpetrator can be male or female.  They have a job as a coach, teacher, family member, or extended member, babysitter, parent of a friend, an older sibling.  The victim is told to be quiet because it is a secret between them, or a threat can be made to the victim that harm or death can come to a loved one.  The perpetrator can use their position of power against the victim.  This can cause the victim not to trust anyone.

All caseworkers have at least one case that always stays with them.  For me it is a  two-year-old female victim and a fourteen year old male perpetrator who was the older brother.  

Case History

The hotline had received a call from the hospital about a 2-year-old female child brought into the ER with her mother.  The information given to the nurse was that the child was sitting on her rocking horse and hurt herself as she fell off.

 The grandmother notices that her granddaughter’s panties are soaked with blood.  The mother had put two sanitary pads, two diapers and two pairs of pants on the child but this did not stop the child from bleeding.  She was rushed into surgery.  The surgeon’s examination was that the vaginal wall had puncture wounds and that the cervix had also been wounded.  The little girl vagina, cervix, and other parts were repaired.  The mother and grandmother were told by the surgeon that if they had not brought the child into the hospital the child would have died from the blood loss.  They were also told that the child would never be able to have children.  The doctor felt that someone close to the child had caused these injuries.  

The police officer and I met with the children (the two-year-old girl and the fourteen-year-old boy) separately as well as with the mother and grandmother separately.  No one knew how this had happened to the child.  I noticed that the little girl looked scared.  I motioned for her to come and talk to me. She came to me and held on to me as I was talking to her.  I told her that the police officer and I would make sure that nothing else would happen to her. She started crying and I hugged her.  I asked her to point at the person who had hurt her.  The two-year-old  pointed to her fourteen-year-old brother.  The police officer was talking to the mother and grandmother about the case and what would happen.  I interrupted the conversation between them to inform the officer what the child had disclosed and that the fourteen-year brother was the perpetrator.  The brother was arrested and taken to Juvenile jail.  

A court hearing was held and the mother gave a statement to the judge.  The statement was that she wanted her son to stay at the locked residential complex that was three miles from her home instead of a juvenile prison.  The judge asks the mother how many children she had.  She stated she had seven children.  The two oldest children ages 17 and 18 were in prison for dealing drugs in California.  She told the judge that she was on assistance as she was crying for her son who had digitally penetrated the two-year-old child with pencils, pens, scissors and small knives.  I informed the judge that Children’s Services had two recommendations 1.) were that the fourteen-year-old son goes to prison. 2.) and engage in counseling along with receiving other services that might help him.  The judge was also informed about the procedures  Children’s Services would take.  The case would transfer to a caseworker who would monitor the family and engage the family in therapy.  

I met with the fourteen-year-old perpetrator and ask him why he chose the two-year-old.  He explained that he was sexually abused in the butt by his father’s girlfriend’s son.  He went on to say that the father the girlfriend were told about what had happened to him.  The father became outraged calling him a liar and disciplining him.  Shortly after that, the fourteen was sent to Ohio to live with his mother, and grandmother, and his other siblings.  I asked again why he chose the two-year-old? His response was he knew she wouldn’t say anything.  After further discussion, I learned he was mad because the two-year-old had received all of their mother’s attention. 

The fourteen-year-old didn’t care about the pain he was inflicting on his baby sister and besides he told her not to say anything because somebody would be hurt.

If you or someone you know is being sexually abused tell someone. If the first person does not believe you then tell another person.  Keep telling someone until someone believes you and seeks help from the police.  

Every county has a hotline that allows you to report allegations of sexual abuse. 

Agencies providing services to Survivors:

• National Child Sexual-Abuse Helpline: 1-866-367-5444 Darkness to Light     http://www.d2l.org

• National Center for Missing and Exploited Children 1-800-843-567 https://www.missingkids.org
• 911 is also an available resource for help

• Your church may have groups or can provide a referral to a counselor they trust

ACTION STEPS General public and survivors

You, the reader can donate to the above organization to help find children or fund the critical outreach and prevention programs.  

These are support programs that the victim can participate in and rise to become a victor and no longer be a victim.

Brief Bio

Sharon Todd was a social worker for Hamilton County Children Services Department.  She dedicated over twenty-one years of services as a caseworker. Serving for eight years in the Department of Investigations where she worked with families that had allegations of sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect and dependency.  Sharon served seven years working with teens in long-term foster care and six years working with families that needed monitoring. She passed August 13, 2026. My condolence to the family.