Blog Posts

What does healing really look like? 

Speaking from my own experience as a survivor of childhood sexual, spiritual, and physical abuse, this is an essential question for me. Ever since I realized I had baggage I needed to deal with, I’ve thought many times about this question. I’ve been in what I consider the recovery process for a long time. And now and then, I feel like I’ve achieved some breakthrough. I would sigh and say, “Finally, that’s over. Now I can move on.” Only to discover that this onion has another layer that needs to be peeled back and dealt with. 

It was disappointing, and that’s putting it mildly. I would cry, be angry, and irritable, or both. Finally, I accepted that the journey must continue and embraced this new issue with resolve and determination, albeit reluctantly.  

Once again, I would ask God, myself, and whoever was available, how long it would be before I am healed?  

And that’s the thing. We all want a quick fix. But we didn’t get this way overnight. I sure didn’t. I suffered for decades from abuse, and those decades came with consequences. Not only do I need to deal with the damage to me. I also need to work through the damage I caused others. Which, at times, seems worse.  

So, here’s what I think. It’s kind of like this. Children are like wet cement. They come out each with their own bent. As parents, we try to shape that bent to be as straight as possible. So, for their own sake, they can live reasonably happy lives as adults. The cement is pretty smooth, and any defects are hardly noticeable. But sooner or later, as in my case, something or someone damages the surface. Maybe a kid rides his bike across it, leaving deep tracks. Some uncaring individual just stomps through it with combat boots.  

Who knows, but the point is the surface gets gouged out. Now, using that same analogy, when the children are young, the cement is still wet or hasn’t completely set. It can be smoothed out and leveled, and you can hardly notice that anything was ever bent. But! If you wait too long, it will be a lot of work to sandblast the edges. It will also take a lot of effort to fill in the cracks. Even then, it is evident to the casual observer that damage has been done. And if left untreated, the surface will be challenging to navigate.  

So, back to the original question. If I’m so messed up, and nothing has been done to help me. Now that I’m 40 years old, I can’t understand why nothing seems to work in my life. What do I do?  

Well, there are drugs, alcohol, and sex, which will only make things worse and make me unbearable. Or, there’s therapy. It can help me understand why I am the way I am. Therapy can also give me some healthy options to compensate for my issues.

But that only works with behaviors. I want to heal. To do that, I need to tackle the whole person: body, soul, mind, and spirit. The body can be addressed with sleep, exercise, and healthy nutrition. The soul needs to deal with the innate bent toward self. The mind must adjust its attitude toward life and other relationships with work and play in the community. But I suspect the spirit is where some real progress toward healing can happen. Let me explain why.  

As I’ve mentioned before, we come into this world with a natural bent toward selfishness and rebellion. No, you say? Then you have never tried raising a child. You never have to teach a child to be selfish, stubborn, greedy, or lying. But you do have to teach them to be unselfish. You must teach them to be more cooperative. They need to show compassion to others. It’s essential to teach them to be honest and truthful.  

This part is the human heart or spirit. It has to be healed first, and then the rest is so much easier to encourage.  

I grew up being taught about God, love, and forgiveness. While I was being abused, I never forgot how to connect with God. He helped me through the horrible times because I kept coming back to the truth of God’s love for me. The Holy Spirit kept urging me toward better attitudes. He encouraged me to adopt healthier behaviors. Despite all of this, I tended to deal with the damage in unhealthy ways.  

So, here I am today. I still have all the scars. I can point to all the damage and its effects on me. But yet there is a peace about it. I have all the memories still. But the sting of them is gone. I view them as photographs of different moments in my life. Sometimes there is sadness. Sometimes there is regret. But there is no wish to medicate with substances or unhealthy behaviors anymore. I’ve made peace with as many as I can. I’ve made peace with myself. I’ve made peace with my abusers. My anger has subsided to a manageable level now.  

Sometimes I can still be triggered by something I’m watching or reading. Sometimes it’s a person whose actions or words can affect me. But my reactions are better controlled, and I know what is happening and why.  

I’m still me, just different and comfortable in my skin at last. Am I the person I’ve always wished to be? No, not at all, and that’s okay. I’m loved and accepted, and I know I’ll be OK. I have a wife who sometimes doesn’t like me but loves me, knows me, and accepts me, flaws and all. For me, that’s as good a definition of healing as I have hoped for. 

Just my thoughts. 

Roger Mann


Roger Mann
 draws from his own journey to help others navigate the challenges of trauma and addiction. Roger has over 45 years of experience in the medical field. He brings both professional knowledge and personal insight to his work. Through compassion and lived understanding, Roger supports people in finding hope and building healthier futures. His mission is driven by a belief in the power of resilience and the possibility of transformation.

Living Out My Fath

“Your faith can make an impact. God can use your faith and good reputation to draw others to Himself. Pray that God would do this in your life, giving you boldness and helping you live out your faith in a way that is seen by others, and that leads to His praise.”

— The Power of the Gospel: A Year in Romans by R.C. Sproul

Most of you do not know that I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2025. And have you heard God’s Spirit speak to you, telling you it is cancer, but you will be all right?

The one thing I knew was if He was speaking that loud to me, I should listen. It is not like I had not heard that voice before. He walked with me every step of the way. When something new was about to happen, His Spirit was right with confirming His word!

I wanted to represent God’s power in everything that happened to me and in me. I have failed, so don’t be misled. But when I hear his voice that clear. Obedience is the goal, as it was all the other times. Furthermore, I have not had cancer before, so I needed to listen and follow!

People who were close to me knew what I was going through. They commented on how well I was handling everything without complaining. Even the doctor commented. I still had a good sense of humor. These comments meant everything to me. 

I feel good! I’m ready to get back to some of the things I love doing. Most importantly, I will remember this. When we exclaim, “Have faith and believe in God,” we do not know the impact our words have. And we do not know who is watching.

I’m glad to share my heart with you in hopes that you will remember someone is always looking.

Darlene J. Harris

Serving at His Pleasure

All is Forgiven

Ernest Hemingway once wrote a short story called “The Capital of the World.”¹ In it, he told the story of a father and his teenage son who were estranged from one another. The son’s name was Paco. He had wronged his father. As a result, in his shame, he had run away from home.

In the story, the father searched all over Spain for Paco, but still, he could not find the boy. Finally, in the city of Madrid, in a last desperate attempt to find his son, the father placed an ad in the daily newspaper.

The father in Hemingway’s story prayed that the boy would see the ad; and then maybe, just maybe, he would come to the Hotel Montana. On Tuesday, at noon, the father arrived at the hotel. When he did, he could not believe his eyes.

An entire squadron of police officers had been called out in an attempt to keep order among eight hundred young boys. It turned out that each one of them was named Paco. And each one of them had come to meet his respective father and find forgiveness in front of the Hotel Montana.

Eight hundred boys named Paco had read the ad in the newspaper and had hoped it was for them. Eight hundred Paco had come to receive the forgiveness they so desperately desired.

¹The above is one of the short stories written by Ernest Hemingway in the book “The Capital of the World.”

The author continued his forays into Africa and sustained several injuries during his adventures, even surviving multiple plane crashes.

In 1954, he won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Even at this peak of his literary career, though, the burly Hemingway’s body and mind were beginning to betray him. Recovering from various old injuries in Cuba, Hemingway suffered from depression and was treated for numerous conditions such as high blood pressure and liver disease.

He wrote A Moveable Feast, a memoir of his years in Paris, and retired permanently to Idaho. There he continued to battle with deteriorating mental and physical health.

Early on the morning of July 2, 1961, Ernest Hemingway committed suicide in his Ketchum home.

Legacy Hemingway left behind an impressive body of work and an iconic style that still influences writers today. His personality and constant pursuit of adventure loomed almost as large as his creative talent. Biography of Ernest M Hemingway

Do not copy. Used only for spiritual educational enlightenment.

The Role of Emotional Validation in Apologies and Forgiveness

I did something to hurt my daughter the other day. It was unintentional, but she was angry and hurt, and she had a right to her feelings. When she shared her emotions with me, I realized that my actions were wrong. I felt bad about what I had done; I apologized and assured her that it would not happen again. However, I apologized immediately after she expressed her anger, while she was still upset. Fortunately, through my study of forgiveness and the psychological process of forgiving for over 30 years, I understand that forgiveness is not instantaneous.

Although I wanted my daughter’s forgiveness, I knew expecting it right away was neither fair nor realistic. People often apologize and expect immediate absolution before the injured person has processed their emotions. Many individuals who say, “I forgive you” upon receiving an apology later discover they do not feel that forgiveness in their hearts. This is because genuine healing requires time, not just words.

One of the most overlooked aspects of apologizing is allowing the hurt person time to work through their emotions. Expecting immediate forgiveness disregards the necessary emotional processing that follows a deep, personal, and unfair injury (Smedes, 1996). Emotional reactions to conflict and personal injury are normal and natural, and those who have been hurt need time to feel and express their emotions. As a student in my college class on interpersonal relationships stated, “Forgiveness is not immediate—you cannot just say ‘I forgive you’ and expect everything to be better. Especially if saying it is not true—saying it just to stop talking about it does not make it better for you or them. Yet, I see it all the time, and people wonder why their relationships/friendships are never the same. There are steps you can take to forgive someone, even if you never forget what happened or your relationship isn’t the same” (personal communication, March 2025).

A sincere apology involves emotional validation—the acknowledgment of another person’s feelings as real and important. Research shows that interpersonal hurt often evokes a mix of emotions, including resentment, anger, and/or sadness (Freedman & Zarifikar, 2016). If these emotions are dismissed—such as when an offender urges the injured to “move on” or “let it go”—it can lead to emotional suppression or denial rather than genuine healing (Gregory, 2025). Admitting and expressing feelings is a critical step before forgiveness can occur, as emphasized in the first phase of Enright’s (2001) process model of interpersonal forgiveness. Forgiveness is often criticized because individuals fail to recognize this critical step in the forgiveness process and mistakenly believe that forgiveness involves the suppression or denial of one’s emotions (Freedman & Zarifkar, 2016).

I knew that allowing my daughter to feel, express, and process her emotions was just as important as my apology. By validating her anger rather than dismissing it or pushing her toward forgiveness, I communicated that her pain mattered. This act of validation fosters an environment where forgiveness can develop naturally over time. Parents often struggle when they see their children in pain and may react by suggesting they quickly move past the hurt. However, individuals need time to experience and process their emotions before they are ready to move forward. According to Damour (2020), when teens can sit with their feelings and then move beyond them, they develop resilience, realizing they can endure difficult emotions.

Pressuring someone to forgive before they are ready can lead to resentment, emotional dissonance, and distrust in the forgiveness process (Worthington, 2006). Instead of fostering healing, forced forgiveness creates obligation, often resulting in superficial reconciliation (Freedman & Chang, 2010). My college students frequently report that they remember being told in childhood to forgive after receiving a forced apology, despite still feeling hurt. Similarly, offenders are often encouraged to apologize before they truly feel remorse. Genuine forgiveness and apology cannot be demanded—it must arise from within.

In my situation, if I had I expected my daughter to forgive me immediately, she might have felt pressured rather than supported. This could have led to resentment or suppression of her emotions instead of real healing. By giving her the space she needed, I conveyed that her emotions were valid. As Damour (2020) explains, psychological health is not about avoiding discomfort but about experiencing the appropriate emotion at the right time and developing the capacity to endure it.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is a process, not a transaction. While an apology is a critical step in making amends, it does not guarantee immediate and automatic forgiveness. Emotional validation plays an essential role in healing by acknowledging the injured person’s emotions rather than rushing them towards resolution. Additionally, while an apology is not necessary for forgiveness to occur, it is often important for reconciliation and can make forgiving easier. However, requiring an apology before forgiving can leave the injured trapped in resentment, waiting for an apology that may never come (Freedman, 1998).

My experience with my daughter reinforced a fundamental truth—forgiveness cannot be rushed or forced. Healing requires time, understanding, and the space to process emotions fully. By allowing my daughter to work through her pain without pressure, I honored her emotional experience and our relationship, fostering the conditions for true forgiveness to emerge.


Dr. Suzanne Freedman, Professor, Co-chair of the College of Education Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Committee, University of Northern Iowa.

Dr. Freedman is a Professor in the Educational Psychology, Foundations, & Leadership Studies department at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, Iowa. She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Delaware and both her Master’s Degree and Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She studied under and conducted research with Dr. Robert Enright, whom Time Magazine called “the forgiveness trailblazer.” Her dissertation was a landmark study that was published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology on Forgiveness with Incest Survivors.

Dr. Freedman’s areas of expertise include the psychology of interpersonal forgiveness, forgiveness education and intervention, moral development, incest, and sexual abuse, and early adolescent development. She has presented at numerous national and international conferences on the psychology of interpersonal forgiveness. At the University of Northern Iowa, she teaches a variety of developmental psychology courses, including the Psychology of Interpersonal Forgiveness.

A Trip Down Recovery Road

When darkness fades, and light begins
To seep into the soul’s deep wounds within
You’ll know you’ve stepped into recovery’s gate
Where healing blooms, and a new path awaits

Your eyes, once dim, now shine with hope
As fears and doubts began to creep in
The weight that pressed upon your chest
Began to lift, and you can finally rest

Your voice, once silenced, now speaks clearly
As you reclaim your story, year by year
The shame that bound you starts to unwind
As self-compassion and love entwine

Your heart, once broken, starts to mend
As forgiveness and self-care become your friend
The world, once overwhelming, now feels kind
As you learn to navigate, one step at a time

You’ll notice changes, subtle yet grand
A sense of peace, a newfound land
Where self-awareness and growth entwine
And the beauty of life becomes divine

Recovery’s journey is not always predictable
But with each step, you’ll find you’re stronger and clearer
So hold on to hope, and don’t let go
For in recovery’s light, your true self will glow.


HOPE Against all HOPE Abraham Believed

I love these scriptures because I love God, who is my hope. I believe God can fulfill His promises, which are tailored to our needs. I trust His word.

I hope you have a favorite verse to hold onto during tough times. I have a few, and I hope you do too. A favorite verse is like grasping God’s steady hand. This is HOPE and belief!

17 As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.” He is our father in the presence of God, in whom he believed, the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being what does not yet exist. 

18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” 

19 Without weakening in his faith, he acknowledged the decrepitness of his body (since he was about a hundred years old) and the lifelessness of Sarah’s womb.…


How did black music affect American culture?

The impact of African-American music on American culture

Describing the African-American influence on American music in all its glory and variety is an intimidating – if not impossible – task. African-American influences are so fundamental to American music that there would be no American music without them. People of African descent were among the earliest non–indigenous settlers of what would become the United States. The rich African musical heritage they carried with them was part of the foundation of a new American musical. culture that mixed African traditions with those of Europe and the Americas. Their work songs, dance tunes, and religious music contributed to American music. The syncopated, strong, remixed rock and rap music from their descendants also had a significant influence. These forms of music became the lingua franca of American music. They eventually influenced Americans of all racial and ethnic backgrounds. The music of African-Americans is one of the most poetic and inescapable examples of the importance of the African-American experience. to the cultural heritage of all Americans, regardless of race or origin.

How did black music affect American culture?

African-Americans and the musical culture they brought to this country developed within the bonds of slavery. Despite the adversities, the music they created, particularly the blues, would be the most far-reaching. Its influence is felt in everything from Jazz to rock, country music to rhythm and blues, and classical music.

Why was music important to enslaved Africans?

Music was a way for enslaved people to express their feelings, whether it was sorrow, joy, inspiration, or hope. Songs were passed down from generation to generation throughout slavery. African and religious traditions influenced these songs and would later form the basis for what is known as Negro spirituals.

What is the history of black music?

African-American music is an umbrella term covering various music and musical genres primarily developed by African Americans. These musical forms originated from the historical conditions of slavery. This period characterized the lives of African Americans before the American Civil War.

What is black culture?

African-American culture, also known as black-American culture, refers to the contributions of African-Americans to the culture of the United States. Either as part of or distinct from mainstream American culture.

How did Jazz influence American culture?

Throughout the 1920s, jazz music evolved into an integral part of American popular culture. The primitive jazz sound that originated in New Orleans diversified and thus appealed to people from every echelon of society. Fashion in the 1920s was another way jazz music influenced popular culture.

What was the purpose of Negro spiritual to slaves?

Negro spirituals communicated many Christian ideals while also communicating the hardship that was a result of being an African-American slave. The spiritual was often directly tied to the composer’s life. It was a way of sharing religious, emotional, and physical experiences through song.

What are some musical styles from the United States that African traditions have influenced?

African traditions have influenced several styles. These include blues and gospel. Jazz, country music, R&B, and soul are also influenced. Other styles include rock, metal, and punk hip-hop. African traditions have also influenced niche styles and Latin American music.

African-American music is crucial in American history and culture. Exploring its history and impact is a key part of the mission of the National Museum of African-American History. Culture Music occupies a unique place in the museum. From civil rights struggles and religious ceremonies to social commentary and community building.

The most distinctive features of African-American musical traditions can be traced back in some form or another to Africa. Many expressive performance practices are seen as synonymous with African-American music, including blue notes. These techniques have roots initially developed in Western and Central Africa. They arrived in the United States via the middle passage. Over the centuries, African-American musicians have drawn on the ancestral connection to Africa as a source of pride and inspiration. One of the most evocative illustrations of this connection is a wooden drum initially used in the sea islands off the coast of South Carolina, probably in the 19th century. As an American manifestation of an African musical tradition, the drum illustrates one of many ways that African culture persisted in the United States, even during the long night of slavery.

Hybridization

African-American music is a hybrid of various musical traditions. Although African elements remain strong, it combines the musical traditions of Africa, Europe, and Native American cultures. There are also influences from around the world. This process, which began in the 17th century with the arrival of the first enslaved Africans at Jamestown, continues into the present as black musicians draw on diverse influences to create new sounds. It is this hybridize that makes African-American music a distinctly American phenomenon. In the 19th century, the creation of the banjo is a vivid example of the fusion of African and European musical traditions that African Americans created in America.

The banjo was one of the most critical instruments in early African-American music. Though seldom associated with African-Americans in contemporary popular culture, it is a classic example of how African-Americans blended African and European musical traditions in the United States. The earliest banjos were likely based on West African lutes. Over centuries, banjo makers gradually adapted their instruments to conform to European tuning systems. Thus, a truly American instrument incorporated Western music theory even as its design recalled its African models. 

Jazz is another iconic example of African-American musical hybridize. It occupies a central position in the musical influence on American culture. In the late 19th century, African-American musicians combined popular songs and marches with African-American folk forms like Ragtime, sacred music, and the blues to create a new form of heavily syncopated and improvisatory music. Thus, the music is called Jazz. And it occupies a central place in America’s cultural heritage, which many fans and scholars call “America’s classical music.”

America is truly a melting pot of cultures. The influence of African American music has played a prominent role in bringing that pot to the boiling point.

John H. Hudson is a longtime friend, and I’m honored to have him contribute to the Black History Project. 

John H. Hudson earned a Bachelor of Arts and MBA in Organization Development. He is an ICF Certified Executive Coach and Holds an Advanced Human Resource Executive Certificate from the University of Michigan. His corporate expertise ranges from work in industries as varied as petroleum pharmaceuticals, semi-conductors, and gaming. As a Human Resources Executive, he has earned distinction in Operations and employee Relations. Strategy and Leadership Development John workshops have been conducted at the Harvard and Stanford Schools of Business. John is the author of “Choosing The Right PATH.” John is married to Wanda, and they have two adult children.

The Legacy of Black Musicians in Music History

I started the Black History Project in 2020. Without thinking about the impact it would have on me and maybe you. Yet, the effect of the research has been indescribable. At best, I would describe it as causing “my heart to bleed.”

The research was overwhelming. It was divided among musicians who offered their brilliants. These brilliants were only cheapened through emotional, professional, and racial treatment.

Musicians who dared to show and offer their talents to society would face discouragement by the same society. They were often robbed of their soul’s investment into the music they loved. Black Musicians and their love of music played a crucial role. Some of the genres would not exist without the determination of Black Musicians.

Thomas Dorsey, during his blues period the late 1920 s

Black musicians do not enjoy it, but they take the ridicule. They are taunted and teased. Watching with eyes of disbelief. They see how their music style and ability to play any instrument downplayed disbelief.

The more seasoned musician suffered through enduring jealousy from the white world of music. They accepted but did not enjoy it. They were entertained but not allowed to stay. Maybe published but cheated.

A musician’s soul and spirit become a significant part of who they are. I’m glad they encouraged and pushed themselves to go beyond the limits and rise above society’s restrictions.

Older musicians did not get their recognition until after they passed. (This is why I give my love and tell people I love them while they are alive.)

Yet, I found a sense of pride, appreciation, love, and celebration in the fact that they never gave up. Music integrates with the soul and spirit of a musician, becoming a significant part of who they are. I am glad they encouraged and pushed themselves to go beyond the limits and rise above society’s restrictions.

In closing, I’m thankful for the Black Musicians who were and are lovers of music. Without them, we would be less than we are today. I love music and always will. Music is one of the ways The GREAT I AM allows peace to enter the human spirit. And harmony to rest in the human heart.

Prodigies in Black Music Evolution

  • Stevie Wonder,
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
  • Jon Batiste,
  • Alicia Gugello Cook (Alicia Keys),
  • Hazel Scott,
  • and many more!

Gwendolyn Brooks: The First Black Pulitzer Prize Winner

Gwendolyn Brooks

Gwendolyn Elizabeth Brooks was born June 7, 1917, and died December 3, 2000. She was an American poet, author, and teacher. Brooks is viewed through the lens of everyday people in her community. She celebrated the struggles of everyday people.

In 1950, Gwendolyn Brooks became the first Black person to win a Pulitzer Prize. She received this award for her book, Annie Allen. The book explores how a young Black girl grows into a woman through poetry.

By 16, she had written and published 75 poems. At 17, she began submitting her work to “Lights and Shadows.” This was a poetry column in the Chicago Defender, an African-American newspaper. Many of her poems were published while she was a student at Wilson Junior College. Her style included traditional ballads, sonnets, and poems using blues rhythms in free verse. In her early years, she received praise and encouragement from James Weldon JohnsonRichard Wright, and Langston Hughes. When she was just 16, James Weldon Johnson provided her with the first critique of her poems.


Brooks published her first book of poetry, A Street in Bronzeville (1945), with Harper & Brothers. After a strong show of support from the publisher, and author Richard Wright said to the editors who solicited his opinion on Brooks’ work:



Brooks was also the first black woman to serve as the Poetry Consultant to the Library of Congress.

Gwendolyn E. Brooks started writing poetry at a young age. She leaves a rich history as a teacher, poet, author, and so much more.

Resource : (Wikimedia Commons) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwendolyn_Brooksm?

Finding Your Life Purpose: A Personal Journey

LIFE WITHOUT PURPOSE

What is life without purpose? Some say it is no life at all! Some say it is about living without restrictions and pursuing personal desires. But I can say I do not want to die, never accomplishing the purpose God had when He created me! What is your purpose in life?

Today was a different kind of day for me. I guess it is because It is my BIRTHDAY! As I thought about my life, I took time to look at pictures. Pictures from my twelfth-grade class and I read what my classmates had said about me. It was strange but funny. Most of the boys said I helped them by listening to their problems. The girls indicated I was fun to be around. And had a sense of humor that they hoped I would never lose. Reflecting on these days enabled me to see where the pathway to my purpose began.

Looking for a place for me.

God will take you out of familiar territory. This is to help you face life. It is especially true when it has to do with His purpose. God wanted me to see and grow from surviving the sexual assault. Triggers seemed to come like darts through conversations at the same time. These triggers or conversations are what sent me to therapy. I began to see the profound impact of sexual assault. I had walked into a world that I was not aware of. It is not just statistics. It is a lived experience that alters one entire being. She said, “Darlene, you have a limited understanding of what you can do.”

My therapist kept encouraging me. She went as far as to give me the name of a Crisis Prevention Center near my home. But I was still hesitant “can I really help anyone.” I struggled to stand on my own two feet. I applied anyway and they accepted my application to become a member of Rape Crisis as a volunteer.

I now have twenty-five years of experience in the crisis prevention field. Volunteering is where I embraced my calling to serve.

Empowering Others Through Service

Volunteers would stay with the survivor during the medical exam and police interview. If necessary, volunteers would walk through the entire court process with the survivor. I also joined the speaker’s bureau. I talked to students about sexual assault and how it changes lives. We discussed the effect on communities and the changes that put them at a higher risk than before. I walked victims through their exams and the police questioning. I attended training and took classes whenever I could. By this time, I could not quit even if I wanted to; this is how you feel when you find your purpose. 

I left the area where I volunteered. By then, I knew I was to start a ministry that would support the abused. I was not sure how this would play out, but that was the task set before me. I took a leap of faith into my calling and started walking. God opened the next doors for me and will do the same for you:

Thirty professionals and myself penned “And He Restoreth My Soul an Anthology created as a guide for those walking with the sexually abused

Started ministry, Darlene J. Harris; Speaking from the Heart.

Interviewed by The Ventura County-L.A. Times

  • Interviewed on the radio with KKLA. 
  • Developed and spoke at retreats for women.
  • Helped to start a domestic violence ministry at my church called “Cura.”

I am not saying that it takes a horrendous act to have a purpose. Rape is an atrocious and vicious act against one’s spirit, body, and soul. But God needed something from the stolen plunder. So, He created it. It was me!

God created you with a purpose. He will reveal it to you in His time and way when He knows you are ready. Prepare yourself for when He speaks to you!

Take a moment and reflect—what passions stir within you, just waiting for you to unleash them?

Resources.

Romans 15:6 so that with one purpose and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:5 Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave us the Spirit as a pledge.

Ephesians 1:11 In Him we also have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things in accordance with the plan of His will,

Dancing with the KING: A Life Partner

Are you allowing God to choreograph your Life?

I love the story of Cinderella. Her step-sisters and step-mother mistreat her. They do nothing to ease her pain and continue to demand more from her—a horribly choreographed life! But this is not why I love the story.

STRETCH your IMAGINATIONS

Imagine yourself as Cinderella, a tired, worn-out girl who suffers daily from meaningless chores, day in and day out. As her night draws near, she prepares to retire until there is a knock at the door. She drags herself to the door and opens it. To her surprise, a handsome young man stands at the door wearing a white shirt and pants. He extends His hand to her, saying, “Cinderella, I know you are tired, weak, and weary from living your life. You have lived through many trials in your life. But I have come to give you rest. Will you let me give you rest?” She asks, “How will you do that?” He responds, “Trust me, you will see,” He then takes her hand in His. 

STRETCH your IMAGINATIONS

Imagine yourself as Cinderella, a tired, worn-out girl who suffers daily from meaningless chores, day in and day out. As her night draws near, she prepares to retire until there is a knock at the door. She drags herself to the door and opens it. To her surprise, a handsome young man stands at the door wearing a white shirt and pants. He extends His hand to her, saying, “Cinderella, I know you are tired, weak, and weary from living your life. You have lived through many trials in your life. But I have come to give you rest. Will you let me give you rest?” She asks, “How will you do that?” He responds, “Trust me, you will see,” He then takes her hand in His. 

She lets him take her hand as they walk down the street named Life. As she tells him her life story, something begins to happen. With every hurt and loss she shares, her dress turns whiter and whiter. While his white shirt and pants turn blacker and blacker.

They come to a beautiful building with lights that seem to be dancing in the air.  Inside was grand, and the young man took her hand, bowed, and began to dance. They were the only two there. By this time, her dress is almost as white as snow, and His clothes are continuously changing. She is confused about the change she sees because she has never seen anything like it. She begins to tell him more and more about her life. The more she describes it, the more He starts to look like a Prince.

The beauty of the Dance is magical. With each story she tells, He is starting to look more and more like a KING. He is stunning! He wears a cape adorned with diamonds, rubies, and pearls. It is something she has never seen before. He takes her hand with joy in His heart. Because He knows what The Dance symbolizes: trust, surrender, and connection, which mirrors the relationship He desires with her. He knows a profound sense of confidence will bring peace and joy to Cinderella’s heart and mind.

A dance requires a partner who is willing to follow the partner. A partner is willing to move to the rhythm, trust the steps, and cherish each moment. Dancing is akin to our first steps as children. We stumble, fall, and veer off course, but with our parents’ guidance, we soon learn to walk without falling. Navigating Life’s intricate and complex twists and turns can be managed when the KING is the lead. 

The master choreographer is the KING. He knows the right time to turn us around and where we will end up. We do not have to be afraid when dancing with the King and following His lead. He calls us to him with open arms like a partner of the ballerina. We must embrace creativity, curiosity, courage, and trust, ultimately shaping our unique experiences. Every decision contributes to the King’s purpose for our lives.

A Life Partner

Choosing our Life PARTNER

Dancing with the KING paints a picture of His soothing presence. He guides us like a feather blowing in the wind. He leads with a gentle touch, never imposing force, and always stays by our side. HIS guidance and support in this “Dance of Life” reassure us and give us the confidence to take each step. 

Just think! With all, He is doing at this very moment in time. He still has His eye on you and me because He is intimately choreographing our journeys. He is the most gracious and gentle partner we will ever have. He empowers us to do His will as we walk through this world. 

Again, I ask, “Are you allowing God to choreograph your Life?”

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The Doctor Who Is Able.

One day, I was feeling so bad. I was desperate, and it gripped me as I felt sick and sicker by the minute. Longing for relief, I yearned to mend my broken self. A caring friend urged me to find a doctor. A doctor with the skill and desire to restore my heart, body, and soul.

My friend said there was a doctor, and “You could see him today if you like.” His primary hospital is Romans Hospital, located between Acts and First Corinthians. Romans Avenue Hospital is in the middle of the block. You don’t need an appointment. Tell the receptionist what you need and what doctor you want to see. They will show you where to go. As she walked away, she reminded me, “Romans is the hospital’s name.”

The Eighth Floor is the surgery floor.

The helper explained that the Eighth floor is where major surgeries occur, especially those requiring the highest expertise and care. It’s a place of hope and healing, treating complex medical challenges with skill and compassion.

The hospital reserves the 8th floor for Him because He can handle many patients. He has an extensive patient list, so the beds on that floor are always full. The Surgent is the best; you won’t find a better Doctor. Patients don’t always follow His instructions, no matter how great He is. They feel they can heal themselves. Or there is another doctor they heard about and want to try them.

The Surgent only enters for surgery once you have entered. 

You have to open some doors on your own and alone. The door of humility, desire, truth, and honesty.  

The Surgent wants to know that you have faith and trust in His abilities to perform. 

Once the surgery is over, you are taken to the Recovery. 

Rooms 31-39: Recovery. These rooms symbolize a time to rest and reflect on your journey. They prepare you for the next steps in your healing process.

Recovery is a crucial phase where you begin to regain strength and restoration. It’s a time of growth in knowledge, understanding, and faith. You find a place in your heart for forgiveness and welcome the Great I AM, no matter what happens.

Full Recovery never comes in this lifetime. But we grow in our trust in God and His goodness. We are His sheep, and He is our Shepherd. We are at peace, believing He is in charge of everything as we walk out His purpose.

We love life but understand we are on a journey and this earth is not our home. But while we are here, we are His servants who desire to do His will.

From the writer

I enjoyed writing this article of hope. I hope you gain strength as you read it.

Love, Joy, and Peace to you.

EVERYTHING NEW

Hello Everyone,

I know it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me, but here I am again with a change. 1) A New Domain Name – https://darlenejharris.com, with A New Website design!

Also, to comply with GDPR Requirements, you are asked to subscribe to the new website, at which time I will receive a notice that you have become a subscriber! And I will be excited!

If you have any questions, please email me using the contact form, and I will respond.

Thank you!

Embracing Forgiveness: A Path to Freedom

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, offering freedom from resentment and bitterness. While letting go of hurt can be challenging, forgiveness allows us to reclaim peace and strength. Start by acknowledging the pain, then make the choice to release it, even if the process takes time. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t erase the past—it transforms it, allowing space for growth and renewed faith. Embracing forgiveness brings inner peace and opens the door to personal healing and deeper connections with others.

Building Resilience Through Faith

Life’s challenges often test our inner strength, but resilience is something we can cultivate through faith. Trusting in a higher purpose, even in difficult times, empowers us to navigate life with hope and courage. Prayer, reflection, and connecting with a supportive community can all reinforce our faith and resilience. By holding onto our beliefs and turning to faith-based practices, we can overcome adversity with grace, growing stronger and more assured in our purpose and in our relationship with God.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

Finding Purpose After Trauma

Trauma can feel isolating, but it also presents an opportunity to rediscover our purpose. Healing begins with acknowledging the pain, followed by intentional steps toward recovery, like journaling, counseling, or joining support groups. As we rebuild, we find renewed purpose by using our experiences to uplift others, transforming our pain into a source of strength. Whether through advocacy, mentorship, or simple acts of kindness, helping others in their journey turns our own healing into a meaningful, impactful purpose.